I hope everyone is getting ready for the holiday season and the start of the new year!
My post for this week is my third Forbes article. The article emphasizes that effective leaders deliver frequent, honest, and constructive feedback as a “gift” to help team members grow, while also fostering a two-way feedback culture that prioritizes mutual respect and development.
Here’s the link to the article along with the full article below:
Feedback Is A Gift—If The Giver Knows How To Deliver
The first time Frank showed up in my office with a light blue Tiffany’s box in his hand, I wasn’t sure what to expect. “Is there something in the box?” I asked him. “Or is it empty?”
“It’s empty,” Frank replied, “except for the gift of feedback.”
This was many years ago when I was a young manager at Baxter International and Frank LaFasto was a senior HR executive for this $12 billion health care company. Over two decades, as I moved through Baxter’s leadership ranks, eventually becoming chair and CEO, Frank came by often with his gift box whenever he had insights to share.
What might seem like a corny gimmick was actually a brilliant strategy. No matter how direct the critique might be, the box reminded me that feedback truly is a gift. Frank took the time to personally deliver insights to me, as well as many others in the company, for one reason only: He wanted to see each of us progress toward our full potential.
Looking back, I can appreciate that Frank was an outlier given the statistics on leadership and feedback. A recent Gallup survey found a significant gap in perceptions between what managers think they’re doing well and what employees actually experience. For example, 50% of managers in the survey reported delivering feedback to their teams weekly. However, only 20% of employees said they received weekly feedback. According to Gallup, one of the reasons for this discrepancy could be that “managers’ efforts are not registering with their teams.”
This difference in perceptions also points to a solution, especially for managers who want to adopt a values-based leadership approach to developing their teams. Values-based leaders deliver guidance, advice, and constructive criticism that will motivate their teams to improve their skills as they pursue what matters most to their customers, colleagues, and the company.
At this time of year when we may be more naturally inclined to think of gift giving—and as we look at how we can develop ourselves and our teams in the new year—here are some tips on giving (and receiving) feedback:
It’s The Fuel To Ignite Purpose and Passion: Too often, people perceive feedback as criticism. As Dr. Flo Falayi, a client partner at Korn Ferry, wrote recently, “In the early stages of my career, feedback was a daunting presence, often signaling perceived shortcomings or discreet disapproval from colleagues and superiors. This negative perception, stemming from my formative years, made positive feedback feel exceedingly rare, reserved only for moments of exceptional performance.” Later in his career, a mentor helped Falayi appreciate the “real value of feedback—not as criticism, but as a fundamental tool for personal and professional development.” In my view, it is the manager’s job to ensure that feedback is received as the gift it is intended to be. This starts with the intention of making feedback truly insightful and inspiring. Every person receiving feedback should feel that the guidance, advice, and constructive criticism will help them reach their fullest potential.
Feedback Is Not An Annual Evaluation Form: With both new managers in my MBA classes and junior leaders at firms where I speak on values-based leadership, I notice the concept of delivering feedback is sometimes shockingly unclear. The reaction is often, “Oh, yeah—that’s the once-a-year form from HR that everybody gets all bothered about.” That’s not the kind of feedback delivery I’m talking about. Feedback is only a gift when it is open, honest, transparent—and continuously delivered:
- Truly care so much about each individual on your team that you take the time and invest the effort to give them your perspective on what they already do well and on what they can improve to excel in their current position.
- Provide specific suggestions, ideas, and tools for each person to advance in their skills and capabilities, for the job they have now and for their future advancement.
Don’t Confuse Being Liked And Being Respected. Many managers, especially those who are new to leading others, often struggle with giving feedback out of fear they won’t be liked. Earlier in my career, I engaged in quite a bit of self-reflection on this point. Like most human beings, I wanted to be liked by the people around me. But I recognized that this desire would probably make me more cautious about what I said. As a result, my feedback wouldn’t have the desired impact. Instead, I needed to focus on delivering honest feedback in a respectful way. This meant acknowledging where people had improved and where there was room to grow. To be most relevant, feedback had to be delivered in the moment, whether right after someone did a great job or immediately following an example of what someone needed to be aware of and work on. I quickly discovered that delivering feedback in this way meant my team respected me for being invested in their development. As a result, I was often liked, as well.
Managers Must Ensure Feedback Is A Two-Way Street. As values-based leaders, we believe that leadership is a journey—not a destination. In other words, we’re never done with becoming better leaders, no matter how many times we’re promoted. Just as with our teams, key to our own development is receiving open, honest, transparent, and continuous feedback from others. Self-reflection helped me see that I needed to demonstrate to my team that I not only tolerated feedback, but I actually required them to deliver it to me personally. Reading this, you may be thinking of experiences in your own career where you observed that someone who gave the boss honest feedback was no longer employed by the company. To ensure that your team members get over their skepticism and reticence, your actions need to align with your words. Here’s an example from earlier in my career of leading a team of a dozen or so people. As I discussed how to advance a particular initiative, a team member spoke up with what she felt made the most sense—an idea that was very different from my approach. My response was, “That’s a great idea—let’s do that. In fact, I’m putting you in charge of that part of the project.” I could see the astonishment on the faces of the rest of the team. Not only was their colleague not fired for giving feedback to the boss, but she was actually promoted. (Now that’s a gift!)
No matter how many people report to you—whether five, 500, or 50,000—your job as a leader is to create an environment in which people know their development is one of your key priorities. That means delivering quality feedback to each team member with the intention and frequency that truly makes it a gift.
This post appeared originally on Forbes online here.
